Movie Review: VERONICA – if you’ve successfully ignored the clickbait headlines, good for you. PG-13 scares at best, and few of them.

Is there anyone who doesn’t fall for clickbait?  Probably not.  Most of the times, they’re easy to identify and pass over.  So and so “destroys” someone else’s political argument, some device or food is the “Only Thing I Ever Needed”.  And I’m a huge fan of browsing creepy old pictures on Pinterest that are described as things that will “Haunt Your Dreams Forever” – you know, this kind of stuff.  Generally written to increase traffic by people who copy rather than create, these headlines have permeated the world of online article writing, and mostly serve as penny-click advertising revenue.  But like I said, who hasn’t clicked one?  My mistake was being curious about the descriptions of Veronica, currently available through Netflix, as being the scariest movie of all time.

Continue reading “Movie Review: VERONICA – if you’ve successfully ignored the clickbait headlines, good for you. PG-13 scares at best, and few of them.”

Advertisements

Movie Review: THE RITUAL – Good, but feels like a mashup of other movies, and the ending is a lot weaker than it should be.

Literally, everyone I knew who had seen Netflix’s The Ritual urged me to watch it.  Not one person had anything bad to say about it – I was planning on watching it anyway just from catching the trailer, which intrigued me, but mostly because while watching that same trailer, I felt I was seeing a few already familiar movies.  I finally got around to viewing it, and it turned out mostly as I expected: good, but far from great, for a  number of reasons.

Continue reading “Movie Review: THE RITUAL – Good, but feels like a mashup of other movies, and the ending is a lot weaker than it should be.”

Movie Review: THE BLACKCOAT’S DAUGHTER – as far as directorial debuts go, this is pretty striking, unfortunately, the reveal is a cheat.

Osgood (Oz) Perkins is a new name on the scene, but not an unfamiliar one.  He’s the son of Psycho star Anthony Perkins, so it’s fair to say that unlike other first time moviemakers a lifelong connection to the movie business ingrained within him some valuable moviemaking tips.  It shows here in his first movie, which is a taut, suspenseful indie horror, starring Emma Roberts (American Horror Story), with fine supporting work by Lucy Boynton and, in particular, Kiernan Shipka.  It’s well directed for sure, but the story itself depends on one particular conceit that doesn’t work,  It’s a giant black hole and for me, the entire movie collapsed into it.

Continue reading “Movie Review: THE BLACKCOAT’S DAUGHTER – as far as directorial debuts go, this is pretty striking, unfortunately, the reveal is a cheat.”

Movie Review: MOTHER! – Darren Aronofsky returns with a terrific, polarizing, dizzying, genre-confounding tale heavy on allegory that will command your full attention.

Three people told me the same thing about this movie.  It’s super weird, and I wouldn’t like it.  Now, I’m the guy who devoured the recent Twin Peaks and enjoy things like Bottom Of The World (though admittedly, Jena Malone was the main reason I watched it!), so weird … kinda my thing, right?  I could never get a straight answer to why, though.  The other thing they told me: you need to go and see it!  So I did, partly to recover from the system shock of Kingsman: The Golden Circle!

Continue reading “Movie Review: MOTHER! – Darren Aronofsky returns with a terrific, polarizing, dizzying, genre-confounding tale heavy on allegory that will command your full attention.”

Movie Review: A GHOST STORY – although it can be self indulgent at times, this arty, existential, minimalist movie about the afterlife is affecting and powerful

Here’s a question for you: what do Michael Bay’s Transformers movies have in common with A Ghost Story?  What element do they possess that ties them together?  On one hand, you have a multi-billion grossing kinetic action franchise full of all kinds of wanton destruction – on the other, David Lowery’s movie is small and quiet.  Where could the connection possibly be?  Simple: audience polarization.  The audience for both appears to be divided into two camps, one who enjoys the experience, one that dislikes it.

Continue reading “Movie Review: A GHOST STORY – although it can be self indulgent at times, this arty, existential, minimalist movie about the afterlife is affecting and powerful”

Movie Review: LAVENDER – weary, and all too familiar, story about a haunted house and ghosts seeking justice.

You ever watch one of those movies that just feels like it never gets going?  That by the time you’re at the end, it still feels like that?  It’s the cumulative effect of the wrong people doing the wrong things at the same time.  By that, I’m not referring to the actors, who are the least at fault in most productions.  The ones to blame are those on the other side of the camera.  In this case, I’m talking about the mild supernatural drama Lavender, starring Abbie Cornish, Dermot Mulroney, and Justin Long.

Continue reading “Movie Review: LAVENDER – weary, and all too familiar, story about a haunted house and ghosts seeking justice.”

Movie Review: THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE – supernatural horror movie falters in places, but still delivers

the_autopsy_of_jane_doe

There are worse movie titles than The Autopsy of Jane Doe, I suppose, but it’s up there.  Having said that, it made me notice it enough to find out it was a horror movie starring Brian Cox and Emile Hirsch, which I found a little surprising.  Sure, it isn’t unheard of for name actors to be in horror movies (even B listers like Cox and Hirsch), but it’s rare – especially when the movie has no name talent attached behind the camera, something that generally signifies low budget and low smarts.  By this, I’m referring to the fodder you can see in Netflix’s horror lists – mostly a stream of shit that heads swiftly down the drain.

Continue reading “Movie Review: THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE – supernatural horror movie falters in places, but still delivers”