Movie Review: THE GREEN INFERNO – Eli Roth’s homage to Cannibal Holocaust falls way short of delivering the true horror of the premise.

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I was going to say I’m not much of a fan of Eli Roth, but having only seen two of his movies prior to tonight’s viewing of The Green Inferno it would be ridiculous to do that.  Having only seen Cabin Fever and Hostel, I approached this one with some baggage.  On one hand I didn’t care for either of those movies, and on the other hand, I can’t say I’m a particular fan of mondo cinema either.  I’m also particular about the genre of horror: gore isn’t enough; jump scares aren’t enough.  That isn’t horror, it’s amateur Grand Guignol – where’s the excitement in seeing people killed off one by one?  I don’t see it.  I’m a character driven writer, and that’s what I look for in the movies I watch.

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Movie Review: Z FOR ZACHARIAH – unconvincing post apocalyptic melodrama feels more like a low-key romantic western.

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I’ve often wondered why post-apocalyptic drama is so popular – I count myself a fan of them, but I don’t know if I can fully articulate why.  Almost every single one of them portray a world I wouldn’t want to live in: I’m not ashamed to admit I love my internet, I love my convenient life and all the trappings that come with it.  I also wouldn’t survive long in the kind of world I tend to enjoy in fiction.  Let’s face it, it would suck.  Living day to day, evading the horrors of not having enough to eat, or clean water to drink.  Instead of my current cushy job and the comfortable life it affords me, I couldn’t abide a medieval life of weak, failing crops, anarchy … loneliness.  I admit I would cash in my chips early.

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Movie Review: SUICIDE SQUAD – all of the bad things you’ve heard about this movie are true. One of the worst big budget comic book movies ever.

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I have a lot of contempt for the stunning ineptness of how Warner Brothers handles the DC properties.  It’s nothing short of disastrous, and really, there’s no excuse for it.  When it comes to Marvel, Marvel Studios has done a more than decent job with the properties they own; since 2008’s Iron Man they’ve created a robust cinematic universe with mass appeal full of individual properties that more or less have their own clear identities.  Guardians of the Galaxy is a lot different than the Captain America franchise as that franchise is different to the Avengers franchise.  This is not an opinion over quality (I’m critical of their boilerplate plots), just a fact.

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Movie Review: WARCRAFT – a lame mashup of the PC game and Lord of the Rings only uses the worst of both worlds.

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I approached Warcraft with a bit of dubiousness, I admit.  The trailers looked silly and derivative, I’ve never played the game, and the history of cinematic adaptations of videogames (those I’ve seen) ranges from ho-hum to absolute garbage.  While doing some research for this review I had a look at just how many of them there have been, and I was stunned by how many there are and the fact I had heard of most, seen some of them.  Must have crept up on me over the years.  Of those I have seen, both Tomb Raiders – while not all that good – are on the higher end of that spectrum, while the best-forgotten travesty of Super Mario Brothers anchors that chain at the deep end.

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Movie Review: INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE

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Maybe about the worst thing you could say about a movie back in the day – and especially a successful movie – is that the sequel went straight to video.  I always felt that was a slap in the face to the original moviemakers, none of which were generally seen around that kind of production.  It still happens: here’s a brief list!  Sometimes they go straight to Netflix or some other streaming service too.  These are mostly garbage money grabs, cashing in on a popular title after the original creators and cast have moved on.  Rarely will you see such a sequel with any of the main stars.  Independence Day: Resurgence is an odd duck.  While it isn’t a direct-to-blu-ray, it sure as hell feels like it.

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Movie Review: THE VOICES

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Few movies are so inconsistent in tone that I’m compelled to comment about that one aspect, but such is The Voices, staring Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool, Self/Less), Gemma Arterton (Byzantium), and Anna Kendrick (Up In The Air, Pitch Perfect).  I stumbled across this the other week, and was intrigued by the premise, and the fact it seemed like an odd choice for Reynolds, whom I consider a solid lead actor.  The poster itself sets up a quirky, offbeat black comedy, but like many posters that try to sell a different kind of product to the public, this one is grossly misleading.

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Movie Review: POD

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Pod, from prolific indie auteur Mickey Keating (Darling, Carnage Park) is another entry in the Cabin In The Woods subgenre, but while it lacks ambition in terms of story, that’s the perils of low budget moviemaking.  It’s more a testament to Keating’s skill and ambition as a moviemaker that he can get so much work done and with such diverse storylines that you can’t help be swayed to his side.  For me, he’s a middle of the road writer/director, but I have wondered how much growth could happen in his work if he were to be given a budget where he doesn’t have to worry about the small stuff.

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